Persuasive genre		Score 1-5
Audience	The writer’s capacity to orient, engage and persuade the reader	3
Text structure	The organisation of the structural components of a persuasive text (introduction, body and conclusion) into an appropriate and effective text structure	3
Ideas	The selection, relevance and elaboration of ideas for a persuasive argument	4
Persuasive devices	The use of a range of persuasive devices to enhance the writer’s position and persuade the reader	1
Vocabulary	The range and precision of contextually appropriate language choices	2
Cohesion	The control of multiple threads and relationships across the text, achieved through the use of grammatical elements (referring words, text connectives, conjunctions) and lexical elements (substitutions, repetitions, word associations)	3
Paragraphing	The segmenting of text into paragraphs that assists the reader to follow the line of argument	4
Sentence structure	The production of grammatically correct, structurally sound and meaningful sentences	4
Punctuation	The use of correct and appropriate punctuation to aid the reading of the text	4
Spelling	The accuracy of spelling and the difficulty of the words used	4
TOTAL		32    /50

Comment:

I thought that Tom had an interesting and persuasive piece of writing that described the topic very well. Overall it was a great and I hope in the future he continues with this.

Is it cruel to keep animals in cages?

Animals are constantly being stripped from the wild and placed into cages for tourists and others to see. Is this wrong? Animals are suffering everyday and I think that they should have the right to go wherever they want and do whatever they want.

This is a man-made problem and should stop. Everyday there is something on the news about a new baby elephant bred in captivity but don't you think that it should grow up in its natural habitat instead of a caged area? I mean how would you like it if you woke up and found yourself being surrounded by flashing lights of the camera and loud talking from the tourists talking and staring at you. No there should be a time and place to stop and that time is now!!!

Animals should be treated as equals and should be cared for, they should be able to not have the same food for breakfast lunch and dinner. There is only I repeat only one reason animals should be placed in cages and that is if they are hurt or sick and need attending to.

Over the years studies have shown that Animals are not so different from us and should be free to do whatever they want, they are our friends and neighbours and should be respected for what they are. They should not be placed in cages and should not be interrupted in there daily life and should not be disrespected.